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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't help someone who doesn't want help or who doesn't think they have a problem.  It's one of those true cliches.

If it's to the point where she no longer tries to hide it from her kids and is actually endangering them, then you need to step in and call CPS.  Or if you have knowledge that she's leaving with the kids, call 911 or even the non-emergency number for your location and let them know you're sure she's drinking while driving.  Or if the kids have a play date and you know she'll show up drunk, stall her, call the police and let them know you have a parent there to pick up a kid who is drunk.  [/quote]

She is a high functioning alcoholic and hides her alcohol use very well. She doesn't appear drunk a lot of the time even though she has had a lot to drink. Involving the police and CPS seems like it'd be very traumatic for the kids. I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. They are 8 and 5 yrs old. Ideally she would be the one that goes and gets help so as not to disrupt the kids' living situation. I wish she would consider that but again, it's very tough to discuss with her. Or I wish her DH would put his foot down and leave with the kids but he won't do that. [/quote]

CPS won't take the kids automatically.

It would be more traumatic for those children to DIE IN A FREAKING CAR ACCIDENT than to head it off and involve the authorities. And it's slowly traumatic for them to live that way, despite the awesome nanny.

How would you feel if they got hurt or killed and you had done nothing to save them?

And involving the police and CPS might be a wake up call for DrunkMom. Remember, addicts have to reach Rock Bottom before they will change.

[b]You are being a coward. No way would I ever enable a person like you are doing[/b]. [/quote]

What a horrendous comment! You are an ass, pp! I am actually a concerned friend that just recently found out about the endangerment to my friend's children and am trying to figure out the best solution by asking for advice from people that have been through this. Forgive me for never having had circumstances like this before and not immediately responding perfectly. I am actually a very concerned caring friend who is trying to figure out the best thing to do. I am from from a coward! A coward would sit back and do absolutely nothing. I can't rush and call the cops or CPS until I know she is actually in the middle of endangering them, i.e. driving at that very moment drunk with the kids in the car. If I call the cops any old day, they're going to show up at her house, find nothing wrong and the kids will be traumatized that the cops showed up at their house questioning their mother for what looks like no reason. [/quote]
[b]
OK you have no clue what you are talking about. CPS will  investigate whether or not she is actively drunk driving at the time. Do you really think the only way to investigate child abuse is when the child is currently in the middle of their beating??!![/b]

Maybe do some real research about Child Endangerment and how they work up these cases. [/quote]

I have no clue about CPS because I've never dealt with a situation like this. Forgive me for not knowing CPS protocol inside and out. I'm asking for guidance from helpful people on here. You are OBVIOUSLY NOT one of them. Your response is to attack me for not knowing any better when I have absolutely no experience with this. You sound like a very smug lawyer (am I right ?!!) who would rather trash my intellect than be helpful.

So let's go by your scenario since you seem to know so much. I tell CPS that my friend regularly does drugs/drinks at home when her kids are around. They go over there. They see she's had a little to drink but is not obviously drunk. They look for drugs (not even sure they can do this), they don't find any. Kids are playing dolls and an on iPad as they normally do. What would CPS do? Come back every day and check? It's my word against hers. It's not like the house looks any different than most people. She drinks and uses drugs and hides it very well so what would they possibly do? These kids are not being physically abused or obviously neglected. So enlighten me please, PP! [/quote]

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