Reply to Could 13 yo DD just be discovering she is trans?

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Reply to "Could 13 yo DD just be discovering she is trans?"

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[quote=Anonymous]20:40/0:37 here.  I have no agenda here other than trying to get out as much useful information as possible for OP and anyone else facing this issue.

I too have very personal experience as a parent with these issues.  Some pretty rough language is being tossed around here toward me without fairly looking at the totality of my words -- which ironically seems to be exactly what 18:23 is complaining about coming from "these people" toward her  -- whoever they are exactly.  But I do agree with the spirit of that part of 18:23’s post that today’s social climate has likely distorted reality.  And I do empathize with the experience of anyone who has been led astray by an unprofessional professional.  But that doesn't mean that I have to reach the same conclusions about all professionals’ uses of certain treatments.

Responding briefly to 0:52,  the line at the bottom of the page of my post above (0:37) was from a draft, and when I went back and reread the most recent guidelines I revised/edited it.  I meant to delete that line before I posted but it was after midnight and I just missed it at the bottom of the page.   This is obvious given that the line appears far below the rest of the post and that I provided the link to the WPATH document - -I wanted people to have access to it who read this thread in the future.  One need not agree with everything in WPATH to acknowledge that they are an important source of information -- even some insurance companies (no fans of paying for unnecessary medical procedures) cite to them as authoritative.

As for puberty suppressants, however,  my mistake may be a distinction with less of a difference than might seem at first look.  The WPATH guidelines for providing puberty blockers to adolescents state the following "minimum criteria must be met: 1).”The adolescent has demonstrated a long-lasting and intense pattern of gender nonconformity or gender dysphoria (whether suppressed or expressed)”;  2) “Gender dysphoria emerged or worsened with the onset of puberty”; 3) “Any co-existing psychological, medical, or social problems that could interfere with treatment . . . have been addressed . . .  .”; and  4) basically, informed consent must be given (by adult or parent/guardian for child).

I am not a clinician, but taking this back to what was described about OP's child -- at least to me -- certainly does not show a "long-lasting and intense pattern" of gender nonconformity or gender dysphoria" when the only evidence provided of the child's trans identity was a period of 10-days.  No one on this cite is arguing this girl should start blockers -- only that it is possible she is really trans and it is possible she is not, and if after some good mental health work it looks like she really may be puberty blockers have potential benefits.  Of course, like all medical treatments, they must be balanced against any risks.

Finally, if you have a trans kid it would not seem “fishy” at all that someone can know more than one trans kid.  Some of this comes from attendance at LGBT support groups, some from the internet, and some from just other extracurricular activities - the same way kids meet any other kids who are not transgender. Real trans kids find each other.  Instinctively, I agree they likely are still rare –- but not so rare that they are counted on your fingers.  There are more than 6 million people in the DC metro area.  Forget New College.  Assume only one tenth of one percent of them (one in a thousand) are transgender -- that's 6,000 people.   Roughly 18 percent of Washington DC's population is under age 18.  If that statistic held for the metro area -- assuming one tenth of one percent of people are trans - that's still over 1,000 unique kids.   The internet widens this to the entire country - or beyond – and between Youtube, Facebook and many other social media sites, the kids find each other if they want to.    I have no idea what the likely general population percentage of trans people is, but common sense suggests that once the “hype” dies down, it will still be more than we thought when the stigma was overwhelming.

It is understandable to get angry when we or our children are let down by professionals – very, very angry.   But let's not let that anger spill over and lose perspective.   For many real trans kids, dysphoria is real, painful, and gets much worse in puberty.  There is a real risk that anger focused on a “political movement” can erase the original, important message that there are real trans kids, yes - thousands of them --that need support.  The political trendiness will eventually will pass.  The consequences of kids thrown out by their parents – yes, that really does happen even if not (hopefully) often by posters on this site -- can last a life time.  The kids and young adults beaten outside of clubs or in school need help.  The suicides are not just statistics -- inflated or otherwise  -- designed to scare parents; they are real. As are the mental health hospitalizations.  And yes, unfortunately trendiness can lead to quackery and bad judgment, and  well-intentioned mistakes also can happen – and kids (trans or not) can pay the price.   My family is just as skeptical as 7:44's of the over popularization/trendiness of being trans in today's culture.   But I also feel incredibly fortunate that my child is now much happier post-transitioning after years of anguish.   My compassion and reason run both ways, and I do what I can to check my anger because it won't help my child or yours.

I wish OP and the other posters who have had difficulties all the best.

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