Reply to Warning people about bad things or mind your business?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Either use FB or like med in or snail.mail. say you would want to k ow theses things yourself, give her info so she can make her own conclusions. Make it clear you are acquainted not former lover etc.[/quote]

OP here - I think I will try and figure out a way to tell her anonymously. Even if I have to make fake FB profile and contact her via that. I would spend my time feeling to guilty if I don't. You make a good point about stressing that not former lover or woman scorned looking for revenge. Just one chick trying to help out another chick[/quote]

OP, please come back later and tell us what you did in the end, and whether it changed anything. I have read the thread and am frankly concerned for you as well as for this woman. In your position I would want to tell her what I knew, too, but it sounds as if this jerk could trace it to you (you mention that he seems to want to brag about his jerkishness to someone and that it's often you) and that he could make life hell for you at work. If you are in a position where you cannot risk your income, please proceed very carefully. Narcissistic users like him have NO problem victimizing co-workers if they feel those co-workers have betrayed them. I am not saying to stay silent -- I do agree that this woman needs a heads-up (whether she listens to it or not) but if you identify yourself to her, there is every chance that she will run and tell him all about it, especially if she believes all his lies. Send her a letter or hand her a note with your number on it and you may find him coming after you professionally, and fast. A fake FB profile might work but I don't use FB so am not sure; however, just be sure you are untraceable.

Please update us. I agree that you should warn her; I'm just worried that it will be too easy to trace back to you, and since you do not really know her, there is no guarantee that she will not just spill it all right back to him and tell him some coworker of his is telling her X and Y about him.[/quote]

OP here - I will update on here to let you know what happened. Just had a friend recommend that I type up a note on plain white paper. List the things that she should know about. Not to much detail but just enough for her to question something's like "Do you really know all the details around that ticket he got 2 weeks ago?" That ticket will be listed in his state as him having gotten and public record. "Ask his son how he disciplines him when he isn't around". He has told several other people about the inappropriate way he disciplines his son so that is common knowledge. They said they would help me go over the letter to make sure it doesn't give me away. They are traveling out of the country in a week and will mail it from there. This could work.[/quote]

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