Reply to Kids are calling DD Fat- 4th grade

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also cut chunky in 4th grade and was made fun of a bit.

I ate too much junk - lots lots lots of after school snacks and sugary drinks and double portions at dinner. I did not play any sports and didn't really exercise.

First, talk to doctor about any undetected issues.

Don't buy junk regularly; allow it, but in single serve portions and sparingly. Serve reasonable portions in general. Don't restrict to the point of deprivation or talk about it too much. Fill up on lower calorie foods if she's already eaten or about to eat - veggies, fruit, unbuttered popcorn, sparkling water. [/quote]

While that all makes sense, it's not that easy.  I grew up fat and have struggled with my weight my entire life (43 now).  My weight really skyrocketed in 4th grade.  My mother (who has her own issues) cleaned out the house, put me on a "diet", sent me to fat camp...I always found a way to eat the foods that made me feel good.  I snuck money to school to buy snacks, friends gave me the food in their lunch that they didn't want, I bought snacks at the neighborhood corner store...if she is an emotional eater and this has already gotten away from her, she will find a way.  I always remember my mother at the doctor saying "I don;t know why she has gained so much weight, we have no junk food in the house, I pack her lunch every day, etc.".  For me, the most painful thing was feeling like I was unlovable to my mother because I was fat, like I was a bad person.  Never once did she help me deal with the kids that were being mean or try to give me tools to help deal with my self esteem.  It was always "They are mean because you are fat.  Lose weight and you will be pretty and they won't tease you anymore".  As a parent, and especially a mother, DD needs to feel like being fat doesn't define who she is.  She needs help to feel good about who she is as a person.  Find her strengths and embrace them.  Find ways to be active together, but don't force her to do exercises she will hate.[/quote]

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