Reply to How Do You Handle Insincere Apologies From Spouse/SO?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you say he says "I'm sorry" even when one isn't warranted.  I have to wonder if you are like my mom and can't get past something unless you get a sincere apology.  Sometimes it's not possible if the other person doesn't believe they are wrong, and they end up apologizing insincerely because they know that's the only way to move on.

Just saying maybe reflect on your part of this before blaming your husband. [/quote]

My mom was the exact same way growing up.  I lost count of the times my dad would say "look I agree with you and agree that your mom didn't handle this the best way, but for the sake of happiness in this house, can you please just apologize to her?".   Sometimes an apology isn't needed. Sometimes dh and I have gotten into a disagreement and neither one of us has done anything wrong, we both just have different takes on the situation.  [/quote]

I love this response. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing.

People just can't get past the black and white nature of things - right or wrong. Someone is RIGHT and someone is WRONG... therefore, there needs to be an apology and someone needs to OWN that they were wrong - and we're not going to take another step forward until that happens... SILLY THINKING HERE!

People will never agree 100%. That doesn't make one right and the other wrong. It simply is a matter of agreeing to disagree and respecting someone else's opinions. No need for an apology. No one did anything wrong.

A lot of times in relationships - people apologize for the sake of apologizing because they want to move on from something and avoid the drama - it doesn't mean they actually believe they did something wrong. In which case, I would say - don't apologize! Just say, I don't agree with you - let's move past this and agree to disagree. No harm, no foul.

Now - if it is a non-negotiable - then you need to sit down and figure it out. However, your list of non-negotiables should be pretty short - otherwise - get a divorce.[/quote]

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