Reply to How Do You Handle Insincere Apologies From Spouse/SO?

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Reply to "How Do You Handle Insincere Apologies From Spouse/SO?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My favorite is when I get the "I am sorry you're upset" apology. Now, that one is an insincere apology![/quote]

Disagree. "I am sorry you're upset" probably *is* sincere. "I am sorry for what I did" would be insincere! [/quote]

This also shows a certain level of understanding and maturity. When someone says I am sorry you are upset, they are really saying - I am probably not sorry for what I did, but I can at least take your feelings into consideration and I am sorry that what I did upset you. However, the action itself is often not one that I am sorry for.

This is typically why most people apologize - because often they don't agree that what they did was wrong - otherwise, they probably wouldn't have done it in the first place.

The thing in relationships is that you are making compromises - not doing things that would upset the other person, but not something that you actually feel is wrong. We have all been there - given up something, done something differently for the sake of making someone else happy. But, from an apology standpoint - we are not sorry we did it, we are only sorry that it upset you.[/quote]

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