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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Transparency is good in theory but so easy to avoid. Here honey, here is my computer and all my passwords. Except for that new email account I just opened that you don't know about so never think to look for.

In the end you either trust or you don't.[/quote]

Yup. As I say to my husband, who says he's transparent now--we both know how easy it is to open more accounts, have a burner phone, etc etc etc. You can pretend to be transparent, and I won't know. I'm not going to waste my time checking up on you, either. So go through the motions and treat me right, and I will attempt to live without trust. [/quote]

Or be happy with yourself and kids..hoping he slips on a banana peel. After something like that I wouldn't care about him even if I stayed. Many stay because of kids and financial realities.[/quote]

Well, it's been three years now, and we're still working on it every day. I don't think I'll ever trust him again, but I live with it, for now. It would be easier for me to leave, but I don't have the financial means, and I wouldn't trust him with the kids during visitation. I'm very positive about things, as much as I can be, and spend these years focusing on working on myself, raising the kids, and treating him and myself with kindness and compassion. We'll see how it goes.[/quote]

The big one is not knowing who they will have around your kids.  Another woman whose kids have problems, or she is a big problem. I've seen some pretty big messes with divorced friends.  Sad for the kids all the way around.  [/quote]

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