Reply to What to do about DD who won't get up for school?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "What to do about DD who won't get up for school? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Talk to her to try to come up with a plan for what is not working and what you can do to help her.  For example, my older child with inattentive adhd gets very easily pulled off task by drifting into a book when she is alone in her room, the bathroom, etc.  She even drifts off in thought while she eats breakfast (I will walk in and literally see her frozen in mid-chew staring out the window). So we talked and she asked for frequent reminders of the time - I now give her reminders every 5 min.  Is this ideal for me? No. But I can't have her miss the bus or else I will be late to work.

If your dd is not cooperative in trying to come up with a solution, then I agree with taking away her phone and replacing it with a pay as you go flip phone until she earns back her regular phone.  As a pp said, you have to think of what "currency" is important to your dd and tie her being responsible and timely in the mornings to earning the right to that privilege.

Last resort, get her school counselor involved - if she is frequently late then the school should care!

I don't understand how she has an A in first period if she is always missing it, btw.[/quote]

NP here. OP, this is a good plan in this post above.

How do you think she will react if you involve her in the way this PP suggests? (Talking to her and asking HER to help come up with a plan to end this.) At her age, many kids like being consulted for ideas and asked to participate in solving things (at least, my own DD was and is like that and so are a lot of her friends we know). Try scheduling a time this weekend when things are calm and she is NOT in trouble for this, and say you need to talk to her like an adult to help you with a problem that has to be solved. Maybe give her a run-down of exactly the domino effect it has not just on her but on you and others in the household (if applicable) when she does this routine. Maybe she'd respond to being told, "I'm not mad right now, but yes, I do get angry and upset with the behavior and here's why. Let me walk you through the effect it has...(and include the effect it has if it's making her teachers view her as flighty or unreliable, too)."

If that doesnt' work: Like this PP, I also had thought about involving the school, but not as a last resort; I might get a teacher or counselor involved sooner. Your DD clearly no longer hears you at all when you press her to get up and get ready; she might be at the point where she needs to hear this from a third party outside home, someone with authority that she recognizes. If she has a teacher whom she respects, you might be able to ask that teacher to speak with her. I admit I'm not sure how to ask that of the teacher without your DD -- once the teacher or counselor starts to say, "I understand you don't get up...." -- feeling so embarrassed that you "told on her" that she shuts down. But sometimes people need to hear that others besides family see a problem in their behavior. It might rattle her enough to change. Is her first period teacher one she would listen to -- the teacher whose classes she has missed at times?

As for getting her to go to bed at 9:30 or whatever, you've already found, that won't work. Don't blame her if she can't sleep that early; teenage biology actually means that during teen years kids are really not able to force themselves to sleep earlier than their bodies want (this research was extensively used by FCPS when it went to a later start to the HS school day). But do be sure she has zero electronics in her room after a certain time each night.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics