Reply to Being average when you know they can do better

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I exceed and still excel at a number of things and am willing to try hard. My husband excels at work and is an all or nothing kind of guy.  I have 3 kids who dont naturally push themselves.  They gravitate to safe and easy.  Grades.  As and Bs.  Sports. Average.  Art. Good ability dont want to try. Music. Dont want to practice. Friends.  Never initiate. Participate when invited only. Talent &gt; effort in all cases.  I never see leadership or a im going to do or be &lt;great at x, win x&gt;. So there is no success stories. Just participation.  Pretty complacent about win or lose. Anger when i suggest they do better.  They compare yhemself to the worst kid in class, sport etc and use that to justify their medoicrity.  We spend a lot of $ on activities (3 eakid)

Problem. Am i a bad parent if i let this continue leave them be.  Or am i supposed to push them to some great level by being stricter? I feel like ive failed to give them a life skill. I see them having lifestyles way below their current one.

They have every opportunity  but just dont take advantage to make most out of it.  
Let them be?

I know some parents would continue to push. 
Whats best for the low motivation child?
I ? If pushing would long term change them or just continue to stress me out. 
Some tell me natural motivation is ab normal.  But when i read bios of any great success they always credit self motivation.

[/quote]

Yes, my child was the same. For an extra curricular she liked, we sat down together and I had her come up with a goal that was reachable. It was to get two levels above her current level.  Then I explained that I expected her to practice and participate and that I would support her during practice.  I have had to really drive practice at home but once she starts practicing she does get into it and she has passed the first level.  That first achievement really helped her see that she could do it.

[b]I realize that just general pushing was too vague for my child and that she was more goal oriented.  When she could see the finish line, it made more sense for her to keep going. [/b] [/quote]

You are good![/quote]

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