Reply to Don't want to Visit my Daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does the mom have to do things DD's way?  Why is mom not allowed to be herself?  I hate parties.  Do I have to have one or go to one when my kids are adults?  I throw birthday parties for them every year -- a stressful joyless slog.  I will be a banana fudge sundae if I have to keep that up for the rest of my life on earth.  How much do we owe these kids? Isn't a loving, stable childhood enough?[/quote]

I agree this is the crux of the issue.  Here's the bottom line for me - There are things that are outside of all of our comfort zones, and we either choose to push ourselves to show up for the people we love when it is important to them or we don't.  This could be parties, traveling, rock concerts, going to church on Christmas Eve, whatever.  Either choice is certainly valid and we all try to find that balance of being true to ourselves and showing up for others in a meaningful way.  But make no mistake, if you stop showing up and you just do things you 100 percent enjoy all the time, your relationships WILL reflect these decisions.

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