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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - Congratulations. You have done a wonderful job. Your post has inspired me. I am in the process of separation and with a young toddler to take care on my own. I'm so scared sometimes to do this alone, but your story makes me think that it is possible. I would love to hear more about how were the early stages of single motherhood for you. Thanks for posting this and congrats again to you and your daughter![/quote]

OP here. The early stages were difficult. I basically turned inward in a way. I worked, I went to school at night, and I parented. I was fairly broke, but got by.

The best advice I can give you is to marshall your resources, including social support. There was a kind woman who babysat my DD when I was taking night classes who lived in our apartment building. When we moved to our TH, I made friends with neighbors and made an effort to sort of build a community. You will run into people who don't want to get entangled in your life, who don't want to help. That's totally fine! But focus your energy and resources on the people and things that support you. I took in that elderly neighbor ten years later and let her hospice in my home. You never know when you can pay it forward. Focus on your career, building a cushion and getting secure financially.

In terms of the ex, I don't have much advice but to just focus on your kid. My ex sort of disappeared for ten years and wouldn't really initiate contact or have any interest in DD until he was married and admitted to his wife he had a child. I think she pushed him to start to build a relationship, but that fizzled once they had kids. I think DD hears from her dad once every few years. Talking to friends who have more involved co-parenting situations, I think it can be complicated, but when it's done well, I think it's probably healthier than what my kid went through.

Good luck. [/quote]

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