Reply to I can't afford to pay for my son's graduate school. He is in high school, BTW.

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Reply to "I can't afford to pay for my son's graduate school. He is in high school, BTW."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds like your ex being a total dick. You need to lay this our to your son 100%. Explain all the finances and explain what his dad is doing and what retirement savings and planning is all about. Your son will see right through his dad. Worst case scenario, you continue paying your 45% of the college bill junior and senior year and your son has to take out an additional 70k in loans. He should know all of this NOW so that he can make an educated decision about which college to attend knowing that Dickhead Dad is playing money games with mom. Maybe there is a cheaper state school he could attend, thus lowering his potential loan amount if Dickhead Dad won't pay junior and senior year. [/quote]

How is the ex being a dick?  [b]He is required to pay child support till age 21.  Nothing more is obligated.[/b]  Mom and child are choosing a $70,000 a year school that neither child can afford.  Mom is not saying if Dad can afford it given they have about equal incomes from her cost share amount.  Maybe he remarried and has more kids.  Maybe he lost everything in the divorce and between child support and his living expenses he has nothing left each month.    Child needs to go to a $30,000 a year school and then mom has enough to pay for it for 4 years.  Then, he can go to a state graduate school and split it three ways with child and each parent.  He should not be required to pay child support and college at the same time.  One or the other.[/quote]

The dad is still a dick if he believes his obligations end at 21. Legally, sure, they do, but this dad does not seem to have ANY problem with a 70k/yr school, he is just trying to make mom sacrifice her retirement to pay for grad school too. Why should kid go to a 30k year school and ONLY the mom pay for the 4 years? The dad's income is going to be counted against the kid in FA, but only the mom is supposed to pony up by your logic? You must be a dickhead dad with a second family to support so you advocate leaving your first family out to dry.

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[b]Actually, its very reasonable given most child support ends at 18, when legally a parents obligation ends.  Dad should pay either child support or help with college.[/b]  If mom cannot afford college costs and they have a similar income, how do you think Dad can afford it.  Dad has no obligation to pay for a $70K school that mom and child choose.  He should take care of all his family, including if he remarried.  Dad's income will not be counted.  My husband was paying child support and they didn't ask for his or even know Dad was involved.  The kid should go to a 30K a year school as that is what his parents can afford.  Mom is the unreasonable one and hasn't thought this through.  Its easier to throw Dad under the bus vs. be a responsible parent.[/quote]

Clearly you've never been on the receiving end of this sort of situation. Child needs xyz and child support doesn't cover it, but dad won't cough up a DIME over what's required so what happens - the mom sacrifices for the child while the dad continues on never doing above the minimum. Dad will retire well while the single mom will have crappy retirement savings. [/quote]

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