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[quote=Anonymous]I understand the difficulty and am going through the same thing with my dad. We don't know if he has months or years left though, so the balancing act is hard (had me in tears several times in the past couple of days). My mom was very sick several years before dying, and I made many sacrifices to be with her, but at her urging, I did not totally stop my life. I don't have regrets now because I know she was well cared for, knew I loved her, and I did make an effort to be there when I could.

I think sitting down and making a plan centered around the other constraints in your life and different trajectories for her health might help you both. I.e. You can't leave your job and children for 9 months, but you maybe could start going up there for a long weekend every two or three weeks, with plans to drop everything and take a week or two off when it seems she needs you most (this might not necessarily be at the end. I left for grad school a week before my mom died, after taking several weeks off to be with her. Atthat point she was no longer coherent and was surrounded by other loving family members, and I'm okay with that).

Im sorry OP. Make an effort to be there, and demonstrate your love on a daily basis, but don't beat yourself up.[/quote]

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