Reply to GF letting other people speak ill of me

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I am surprised how much flak you are taking on this topic and much of it is completely beside the point of your situation and question. Ignore.

You are fundamentally right to doubt. The issue is not what some other 3rd party says about you, it is that your GF is taking their side against you and criticizing you like she is their messenger.

Not okay. And, probably not worth discussing. This is something to [i]know[/i] about her and do your own calculations. This is how she is. And I agree with the PP who said it is manipulative. It is not okay. She does not have your back. Her behavior is leading you to experience [i]distrust[/i] when she is especially friendly to a person you are both aware dislikes you and has said completely rude impolite things about you.

Moreover, anybody would feel some hurt at the criticism you received. That old friend was your guest and what a rude guest, complaining and carping to your GF. So rude! I don't even know her and I dislike her already.

And this guy, Z, okay so he has been having some rough times recently but it sounds like he is part of the problem in his own life if he says completely rude things about perfectly friendly acquaintances. Who knows, if he actually befriended you like an adult you might have networked for him or helped him out in some other way.  So - it is him, not you.

I recall my 20s being intensely social, met and interacted with so many people, and some of them are there mainly as life lessons of what you don't want to be around.

2017 goals: 
- have polite, appreciative, positive attitude guests at your next party
- don't include a-holes in your social circle
- get free and find a woman who demonstrates positively that she values you and that you can trust, and who has empathy for your feelings when some rude jerk throws shade on you.

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