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[quote=Anonymous]When I was in college my parents were very hands off - just like in high school.  Grades arrived by mail back then but they would never have opened mail addressed to me.  However, when I saw the envelope, I would open it and leave it out but I have no idea if they ever looked and I never asked.  In fact, I transferred schools and the way they found out was when I was heading off to my new school (3 weeks after my first school would have been in session) and I told them that I needed a check made out to XYZ University instead of ABC University.  They were kinda surprised but went with the flow.  The only requirement they ever made was that I had to get it done in 4 years.  I think they were hands off because they knew I would tell them if I needed help but I never did.  It also was a time when they both had very intense jobs and were gone for weeks/months at a time so I think that we all just tried to relax and enjoy each other when they were home.

On the other hand, my husband and I know a lot more about our kids grades.  We both talk to each of our college kids at least once/twice a day and text multiple times during the day so we know the minutiae anyway.  Although we have their log-ins and passwords, we don't use them because by their own volition the kids are sending us screen captures when things are posted.  My husband is a little more in touch re the grades than me since they have all gone into the paper-type majors (History, English) rather than the STEM field which is my area.  They also are in the habit of sending the papers electronically when they get them back from the professors because the profs will have comments on them.  Again, my husband gets in to that and really helps them analyze the comments.  That kind of stuff drives me nuts so I leave it alone.

I just asked two of the kids and they said they are the norm for their friend group.  Both kids looked at me like I was crazy and said they think their friends certainly tell their parents their grades.

The long and short of my answer is ... we don't check our kids' grades because we already know them.  But I agree with the PPs who have pointed out that if a parent (or grandparent or aunt or uncle, etc) is paying then the child has a responsibility to keep the payer informed.[/quote]

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