Reply to Explaining to my three year old that I'm a love child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,

Like many of you, I thought this was something that I could just skip around. That's obvious, right?  However, DC is gifted just enough to detect my attempts to avoid the conversation. But, she is also very much the typical emotional three-year old.

So I think I need to develop a straightforward plan. Something that's clear and avoids the possibility of backtracking.

[/quote]

Don't avoid it. She asks you, you say, oh I didn't grow up with a Dad. Do you have a step Dad?  Then he is your Dad. You truly sound nuts.  Is she reading Narnia at 3? If she is then she is gifted. This is all about you. Do not let your child be your therapist.[/quote]

NP: My DC did read Narnia at 3, but absolutely could not have comprehended the social and emotional complexities surrounding adult sexuality, social morals, infidelity, marriage vows, child abandonment, etc. that OP is considering dumping on this toddler. But the child can pick up on anger, anxiety, depression, stress, etc. and will learn quickly that this is a topic that pushes mommy's buttons, for better or worse.[/quote]

Exactly this. Explaining cheating isn't exactly easy and I don't want to make it seem like a sore spot. It's similar to not bashing a cheating ex in front of your kids. This is probably much worse than that. That's why it's a topic that I want to be prepared for.

I don't think people really grasp that cheating can lead to generational issues and drama. [/quote]

Okay well just do what you want. You don't want to take anyone's advice to simplify this to "I don't have a dad" so just tell your 3 year old that you're illegitimate (he will know what this means, I presume, since he's so bright) and this technically means you have a dad but he's not in your life and you two can explore the psychology of this together after nap today. [/quote]

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