Reply to FI suggested I pay for my birthday?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lastly, it's also not good to lavishly spend on him if he didn't ask for the trip you took him on (maybe he did, not enough info) and then automatically expect the same in return. Kinda inconsiderate. I would never expect a beach resort trip as a gift but that's just me. [/quote]

Did he ask you to treat him to 4-5 day vacation?  If he is as frugal as he sounds, he probably wouldn't spend that on himself.  I also know when DH and I were engaged we were putting all out money towards the wedding with an eye towards a downpayment on a house so personally it would have stressed me out if he spent $1500 on a birthday trip for me and then wanted me to spend $750 on a trip for him.  That $2250 could be used for something called our honeymoon!

Anyway, I see a few issues.  You and FI are not on the same page about money.  Is there a gift limit while planning for the wedding?  Was this discussed?  Also, you have the idea that what you do for him is what he will do for you and that's not how it works.  He may never be the type to lavish gifts ....ever, so you very well me here on DCUM married saying your DH doesn't do much for your birthday.  If you can't live with this for the next 20 years, get out now.  The last thing is trying to force someone to do something.  I'm a strong believer that a gift is exactly that, something not expected, a generousity on the part of the other person.  It would annoy the heck out of me if someone tried to dictate my gift to them, not a choice among several things, not me asking, but someone telling.  My mom does that all the time and it drives me up the wall.  When you get married you will have to find that balance of letting the person be themselves and finding certain compromises ...not telling someone exactly what they need to do when and how as if they were your child or employee.[/quote]

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