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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH and I have talked about this a lot but we are older - almost 50. We have two teens and the difference in how we were raised and how we are raising ours is huge. Some of it we are happy about but some we are not. Our neighborhood, kids peer group, schools have influence for good and bad.

One difference is that  We spend so much time with our kids! Not complaining only sharing an observation. It is the expectation and the environment so with all this time together we see/ hear more ( or they tell us more?)

When we were kids we were in the neighborhood/ community with friends, no way to contact parents during the day from  school! [b]Now, The slightest thing and I get a text from a DC.[/b]

Only Hall phones and weekly letters when I started college so a lot of things we had to figure out on our own or with the help of our peers. Made mistakes and really dumb decisions a few times but I want to believe it allowed for growth and resilience?

I don't know but [b]I see this dependence on parents and level of anxiety extremely high in my community[/b]. I know one can argue that there was a lot our parents did not know and that was not good either but there needs to be balance.

I'm not innocent as have fallen in to over - parenting at times.  A lot has to do with the community. You feel your DC can do, see, plan, account for something but no other friend is " allowed" so you eventually just go along with the norm.

All this rambling to say I think maybe one theory is we spend too much time with our kids?[/quote]

Interesting.  Have you ever spoken to your DCs about this?  What do they think?  They're old enough to observe themselves and their friends and have opinions and insights that might be helpful to you and your DH.

More specifically, how would they feel about working together to set limits on when/why they can text you?  Especially during the school day?  Do you think they'd be open to a one-week "experiement" see how it feels for them (and you) to text less and problem-solve on their own more (or just save up all the things to tell you later, when they see you at home)?  
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