Reply to Jen Hatmaker

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[quote=Anonymous]The point is to this very day my mother in law carries guilt for her adultery. Her ex carries none, because he can only see his victimhood not his active role as a rapist and abuser. (Extreme example, sorry) 
In the Hatmaker story we have no conclusive evidence he cheated, though likely given the hints. So no Jen is not to blame for his adultery, that was his horrible judgement call from a weak flawed character that chose that route. However should Jen want to have a truly healthy romance in the future it would behoove her to look at the ways she failed to show up in her marriage before the adultery. Where codependency was substituted for intimacy. At this point she is only seeing it as a case of marrying way too young and having a husband who slid into addiction after trauma and then cheated. That may all be true but she was an active participant in the relationship and had full agency. I suspect her religious training helped keep her from aggressively addressing the marital issues as church folks are taught to keep their dirty laundry private and fake it till you make it. As a pastor’s kid she’d be highly skilled at this. [/quote]

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