Reply to Stopping caring saved my marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know that I really agree with this line of thinking. Maybe my husband is more..malleable than many men? I wouldn't have thought so but my take on this kind of thing is that bottom line, I don't take crap. I deserve to be treated a certain way and I am going to get that treatment.

When we were first married, he did that thing many men do where they go to the grocery store and came back with a bunch of junk. Unh uh, sorry, your ass is going back to the store to get the real food we need. And yes I will ridicule you because you deserve to be. Thirty years old and you can't scan the cupboards to see what we need? Fucking no. He leaves his dirty dishes by the sink for me to clean or whiskers in the sink? I'm not your fucking maid, this is unacceptable, clean them now before you go to work. You thought I was going to do all the night wakings and take care of the kid by myself while you "baby sit" some times? No fucking way, I will divorce your ass over this. You're going to tell me you'll do some house project so we don't have to waste money on hiring it out but then not do it? Yeah I will inform you how childish and irresponsible that type of behavior. I'm not going to play nice about bullshit like that. Point blank, if you want to be with me, you will treat me the way I want.

We've been married over ten years, together for 15, and I've basically turned him into the husband and father I wanted for myself and my children. Don't take crap, ladies. You're better than that.[/quote]

I just found this thread and got to your post at the top of Page 8 and had to agree!

My marriage is only four years old, but this is what I did.

I should not have to tell you when the garbage is full and needs to be taken out.
You should pick up toilet paper when you notice we are low without being told.
The grocery list is on the fridge, do not call me from the store asking what we need. If you forgot the list, guess, just like you would if you were single.

Sometimes I had to lay down the law and sometimes I could raise and resolve the issue jokingly, but no way in hell was I just going to acquiesce to DH deciding he could abdicate all adult responsibilities once he had me.

Our marriage has been strong from the beginning, I suppose since we lived together and fought those battles prior to marriage, and there is no need to be apathetic or detached because we don't criticize each other. We are equal and loving partners in making our lives into what we want.
[/quote]

This is pretty harsh/critical stuff. You might think your marriage is strong but what does DH really think?
4 years though - you have it figured out.[/quote]

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