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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm trying to incorporate elements of this but am buckling a little under the weight of I guess mourning what I thought was possible, realizing there is contempt from him towards me, missing sex and missing having interest in each other and our lives.  He's also having a minor emotional affair and ...I want so badly to not care anymore.  I can some days.

I am working on keeping myself busy and cultivating my own interests and networks.  I know I can't change any of his actions or emotions and I don't try.  Did you have a mourning period before not caring?[/quote]

I don't think it is not caring. It is prioritizing yourself while including/being nice to spouse. [b]Like the PP said, I'm making XX for dinner. Oh, you don't want it? [/b]I'm sorry, make yourself ZZ. But this isn't about not caring entirely. I'll make DH's favorites, too. This is about caring for yourself, doing the things you want, inviting your spouse, and allowing them the space to partake. He/she could do this to you, too. DH: I'd like to go bowling, do you want to come?  Regardless of what my answer is, he gets to do what he wants. If I want to go, great, we have  a good time. If I don't, that's OK, he can STILL have a good time.

[/quote]

You need to lean not to give a fu#k what he thinks about your cooking. I felt this way for a long time but I learned to just not care. Don't like it, I don't care. 
If you made dinner though, it's just rude to say you don't like it or don't want it. That is disrespectful. That actually would hurt my feelings quite a bit. Not that he doesn't like the food but he can't even care enough about me to pretend in order to be courteous and polite?[/quote][/quote]

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