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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a child of divorce (no cheating, just didn't work out) and the two homes thing was cool. I had two rooms that I got to decorate as I liked, friends at both places and so on. It was not earthshattering or whatever as people here state. Also, I think it's effed up to gloat that you played a role in breaking up a marriage, but all the outrage and vitriol here is a bit much. It's not your marriage, your kid(s), your life, so dial it down people. Finally my question to the OP: What has your husband learned from the experience that would make him a better husband to you? [/quote] OP wrote this!![/quote] Nope. You people have a hard time believing that not everyone is outraged by other people's lives. All the vitriol here is silly to me. I don't know this woman, and don't care enough to call her a whore and all that as others have done here. It's crazy to me. The only people who should be this mad is the ex-wife.[/quote] Please. It's the most obvious example of displacement. They can't be mad at the person who actually wronged them, so they lash out (with extra vitriol because anonymity breeds contempt) at someone who embodies some of the same characteristics as the person who wronged them. There are also just some people who do not see this as an issue with any nuance. If you cheat on someone or are involved with someone who is cheating on someone, you are a bad person and deserve horrible things for that, full stop.[/quote] Oh, God - you again. Nobody has cheated on me. But I still condemn cheating because I value honor and integrity. It's not a question of "nuance" when you are a cheater. It's a question of lacking character. You are not a good person by definition. Doesn't mean I wish "horrible things" on the OP. But frankly, she is in for a rude awakening when her DH decides she isn't meeting his "needs" any more. [/quote] Oh, God - you again. Do you value forgiveness? Do you believe that people can change? I don't disagree with your assessment of the OP. I also don't think that a person's character is made or broken by one behavior. My mom cheated on my dad. They divorced many years later for other reasons. My mom is a good person who did a bad thing a long time ago. I don't think that that bad thing negates the other things. She has been happily remarried for 20 years (not to the person she cheated with). Also, while YOU didn't say you wished horrible things on the OP, you don't need to go very far to find people hoping that cheaters get cancer and any number of other horrible things. There are people who say that they won't let their kids have playdates at the houses of people who they know cheated. Those are extreme reactions that I do not think are appropriate.[/quote] Exactly, murders who only did it once doesn't mean it defines them. They did one bad thing, doesn't mean they are bad people. [/quote] NP here but are you really equating pp's mom to a murderer? :roll: [/quote]
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