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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow talk about a situation blown out of proportion...you should have calmed her down in a less dramatic way. You contributed to the chaos. Your in laws apologized, move on. Life is too short to hold a grudge over your child misbehaving.[/quote]

OP here. Where do you see me contributing to the drama? She was crying and scrambling away from my BIL who was angrily grabbing at her legs.  I picked her up and took her away without a word to anyone. As a PP said, this kind of did feel like an instinctive response--I saw that she was terrified and my BIL was angry with her and my first reaction was to get her out of that room.

My DH did not stoop to my BIL's level as my BIL screamed in his face. Instead, he calmly got up with my other daughter and joined me upstairs where we sat with our two crying daughters and tried to figure out the best route. And, we stayed for the party.[/quote]

Not that PP, but you clearly contributed to both children being freaked out. You reacted very dramatically, acting like you were escaping from domestic violence, and they picked up on that. Being yelled at is not all that scary (it happens a lot to kids). Seeing your mom scared is terrifying.[/quote]

OP here. [b]Well, yes, it is true that I was scared, especially after he screamed at DH. I did my best to appear calm and collected in front of the kids, but yes, surely they picked up on me being scared. Well, not sure what I could have done to change that. I [i]was[/i] scared. What happened was scary to me.[/b]

Also, someone suggested that my kids must have been driving him crazy all weekend and just pushed him until he snapped.  This is not the case. We arrived late on Friday night (kids were both asleep and we carried them to their beds) and this happened the following morning. So we're talking less than 3 waking hours with them.[/quote]

When adults can't control their emotions to the extent that they start yelling, I walk away, too. I absolutely don't put up with that nonsense. When they calm down, then we can talk. Otherwise, I don't want to witness an adult having a temper tantrum.

If I was you, I wouldn't stay the night at their home anymore. Splurge on a hotel. I love my family, but I enjoy them in small doses. It's all much easier to tolerate, knowing that I can leave any time. [/quote]

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