Reply to Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Do you ever wish your DH made more money?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went out to dinner with my husband and several of his associates who were also MDs.  I am a doctor.  These men brought their wives to dinner.  I didn't know them so I asked them what they did for a living.  They outright tossed up their heads and laughed at me.  They said, we don't work, WE'RE doctors wives.  Like they had won the lottery.  I was speechless.[/quote]

Not any more. Maybe if you're of the older generation. I am married to a doctor and they come with huge student loans, and deferred savings. I remember being at a dinner with some older ladies and basically they were telling me how their lives were like the real housewives. And I was like..yeah that's not happening to me.
[/quote]

I'm not surprised by either PP's experience. I agree -- it was much more common in the previous generation to be a dr with a stay at home wife who never worked; in part they didn't need to, in part they likely didn't have a professional career they wanted to pursue anyway, and in part there was likely an agreement that the dr was too busy to deal with childcare types of things so those would be the wife's domain. Truth be told, I do know a few women who are like that now -- in their 30s. Their DREAM (and their parents' dream) was to bag a doctor. Once that happened -- ain't no way the wife was going to slog away and deal with corporate America. Their identities are very much wrapped up in being doctors' wives and they are very quick to tell everyone they meet that DH is a doctor. They have a very "image conscious" mentality -- esp the one I know who is a cardiologist's wife -- and have to have homes in the exact right neighborhoods; the right cars etc. though privately they'll admit that when they were going after a dr. they didn't realize that drs. don't make THAT much more than some other professions and in fact make less than investment bankers etc. One wife is in fact a lawyer but never practiced (or held any kind of job after law school) even for a day bc she graduated from a 3rd or 4th tier school and realized that it was easier to be a doctor's wife than to deal with the uphill struggle in law if you don't graduate from the "right" schools.

Though most dr. wives that I know who are in their 30s had their own professional goals and are pursuing them. One is married to an OB-GYN while she herself is in the management ranks for a Fortune 500 in computer science. One is married to a general ophthalmologist and is continuing to pursue her job at a non profit -- even though her take home doesn't necessarily even cover childcare. Another is a lawyer married to a cardiologist. I think the drs. who marry women who are more their "equals" in terms of profession are not shocked that the wife will want to work; they realize that the school age yrs with kids will be tough and there may need to be some outsourcing or part time arrangements or something -- but they don't necessarily just expect that a woman who is a computer science grad from MIT will suddenly say "nah -- being a dr's wife is easier, let me quit." [/quote]

Computer science grad from MIT? A lot of programmers take short courses and many follow in Edward snowden's shoes.... take a few weeks course in programming, graduate with just a high school degree, get a certificate in community college and then make 100k-200k plus a year.[/quote]

Right -- there are lots of paths in CS -- doesn't mean that no one in the world has ever graduated MIT with a CS degree.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics