Reply to DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look, I know teens have sex. But I am ASTONISHED at how many of you value good grades over protecting one's body and heart. WTF!

No matter how mature a teen seems, heartbreaks happens and when sex is involved it's an even more complicated relationship. That nice boy who was so considerate begins to dog the girl out, make her the villain and everyone at school think she's a slut. Or, she's so heartbroken that her grades suffer and, as a result, her academic future. Then there's the possibility of an accidental pregnancy and the angst that comes with abortion/adoption/raising a child. These scenarios are FAR more likely than this becoming some life long lasting relationship.

My oldest two children are girls (19 & 15). They are both virgins. It is not through some special feat of my own (I was a teen parent), it is just how my girls are. In fact, they might skew too far the other way! While I don't like it,[b] they are VERY judgmental of girls who have sex. My 15 year old has stopped talking to friends when she finds out they are sexually active. [/b]I have open discussions with my children about sex, birth control, etc and they both take the "my body is special, I'm not giving it to some random" approach. While things could change, I am embracing this mindset in both of them.

BTW, opposite sex friends are NOT allowed in the bedroom. Period. Teen "couples" aren't allowed privacy in my home. And I hope I have raised my children well enough to not be so absolutely disrespectful to have sex in my home and have their boyfriend come and go as he pleases!

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Yuck.  I hope they mature out of it.   A woman's worth or character isn't her sexual activity or lack thereof.  How she treats others is what matters.   And how your 15 year old is treating others is pretty awful.  [/quote]

We can agree to disagree. While she doesn't shame them, she just distances herself. I think it's great that she's learning how to select friends according to her value system.

And, no matter what women like to pretend, having sex IS a big deal and our self worth IS tied to who we are intimate with. We can pretend that we are sexually liberated all we want, but it's all bullshit. 
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She seems to value sexual activity over traits like honesty, kindness, reliability.  And throws away friendships over one issue.  Very distorted.[/quote]

First PP, your DD sounds very immature.

Maybe going away to college & getting away from you will help.[/quote]

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