Reply to DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom's best friend got pregnant at 16 in high school, in 1959. My grandmother told my mom to shun her best friend because of it. This story always broke my heart, because if there is any time you truly need a friend, it's when you are in crisis (and unwed teen pregnancy in 1959 small town Maryland was indeed a crisis). My mom did not listen to her mom, thank goodness. But MANY people did turn their backs on her, and she felt the only way to make right was to marry the dad. Turns out he was and always had been very abusive.  So she married a guy she knew was going to hit her so that society would think she was "worthy" again.

She's blind in one eye now from ex husband punching her. Has been  for 50 something years. divorced fortunately. And quickly. And she and my mom are still friends in their 70s.

But it really underscored for me, the fact that we need to support friends and not shun them when they do something we may not agree with.  People make mistakes. But they aren't lost causes because of it.  You can be a supportive friend or family member without condoning behavior you don't agree with. [/quote]

It is a fine (and difficult) line to walk for your kids to have friends who engage in behaviors that are not inline with our values.  But that's part of growing up and becoming and adult- at least for some of us.  Shunning and slut-shaming is just an easy way out for people who aren't willing to engage in more complex relationships with their peers. [/quote]

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