Reply to Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be okay with my white daughter dating an Asian American guy. I would be okay with her dating a Latino guy.

I would not be okay with her dating a Muslim guy, a Jewish guy, or a fundie/evangelical Christian guy, regardless of race. I would not be okay with her dating a guy who is from the Middle East or Central Asia. I would not be okay with her dating an Indian guy. I would not be okay with her dating an African American guy. [/quote]

This sounds like an honest response.  My honest follow up question is why do you draw these distinctions?  Why okay an Asian American and Latino, but not all those others?[/quote]

Not the pp, but I think the commonality here is how those cultures treat women.

This is a gross over-generalization, of course. And the secular Jewish guy doesn't really fit the category. But, the rest of them in general represent cultures where women are regarded by men as second-class and, in some cases, treated even worse. (Muslims = Burkhas, don't educate girls; fundie Jewish/Christian -- women are subservant; Middle East and Central Asia -- horrible women's rights records; Indians -- gender-based infanticide, horrible treatment of women; African-American: Women as bitches and hos, etc).

Again, the danger of stereotyping is real, but these are real concerns that I'd have as the parent of daughters. It might depend on how Americanized the family is.

[/quote]

Thanks for your honesty. Interesting that this "gross over generalization" has not created the same outrage as the Becky comments that PP made. Go figure.  I would ask you to define "Americanized" for me though.  I suspect that your definition will skew towards a White American focus.

You mention that AA culture treats women as bitches and hoes but the AA women on here prefer that their AA sons marry AA women.  So clearly, that stereotype is not something that they feel is relevant. Perhaps people are buying into the media and entertainment portrayal of AA's (and minorities) and embracing the worst examples as truth for all - which is one of the points the AA women were making. (There are reasons that most educated AA's hate today's rappers and this is one of the primary reasons - they are modern day minstrels)  But the PP was somewhat clever in that in her Becky post, she turned that negative stereotype/generalization around. She used a specific type of White person as a generalization for all White people.  And a couple White people bit on it.  I cannot speak for her, but what I think she was trying to do was show by example why the whole Shanequa (sp) line of discussion was so insulting.  [/quote]

I define "Americanized" more by how many generations they are removed from the homeland. For instance, I know a man of Iranian descent. Born and raised here, as were his parents. He certainly doesn't have any of the sterotypical attitudes about women that we associate with men from the Middle East. I wouldn't have any problems with my daughter dating him if he were roughly her age (right now there'd be a 25-year age gap, and that would be problematic for other reasons). As for the African-American bitches and hos comment I made, that actually falls most extreme under the generalizaing caveat I put in there -- I don't really think that's a fair concern. Nonetheless, I do think the gender role expectations are somewhat different in the Black Community than it is in mine, and I'd want to be sure that my dd wasn't going out with a guy who had different values about how we treat women than I do. Frankly, I do think I'm more likely to encounter that with a young black boy today than I am from an Indian boy whose parents are fresh off the boat.[/quote]

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