Reply to Why so many single men not interested in dating?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Hmm, as a 40-something woman, I'm not sitting at home watching Netflix and binging ice cream.

It's more like, with the vast majority of men, I have to take charge on everything. I have to suggest meeting up, plan the date, make sure it's something he enjoys, get ready for it, keep the conversation going, etc.

If I'm going to put that much effort into an outing, I'd rather go do something I like. Go take a yoga or a ballet class, go hiking, or check out a museum or something. Which not many men are interested in doing. And I don't really want to waste an entire evening at a restaurant I don't like all that much (WHY do so many men only want to eat bar food??)

When they do initiate and plan dates, it's usually pretty lackluster (and often very last-minute). The last guy who asked me out invited me over for dinner, where he served me a single chicken breast and nothing else, put a Netflix movie on, and then tried to grope me the entire time. Yuck.

When a guy can actually plan ahead, plan an interesting date that I'd enjoy, and not use it as a ploy to get laid, I'll happily go out with him. But bare minimum effort isn't worth my time, when I can be doing the things I actually enjoy.

If men stop dating me because that's "picky", that's fine. We're both happier not wasting each others' time.[/quote]

If your dates are so lackluster, who's the common denominator? YOU. You're just like the rest of the lazy entitled broads to refuse to lift a finger in dating. You refuse to actually take the initiative and risk to ask a man out and yet you whine about how much effort they put into wooing you. Screw you.[/quote]

If you actually read what I wrote instead of being triggered, you’d see that I said I have planned dates.

Usually, one of two things happens: they protest (that’s so boring, that’s so far away, etc), or they very clearly aren’t enjoying themselves and are tolerating it in hope of getting laid.

A few months ago, I had been texting with a guy for a couple weeks and suggested a date. He gave me the times he was free, so I planned something about halfway between us. He then went on a huge rant about how I don’t understand that he is extremely busy and couldn’t possible drive the 20 minutes it took to get there and I needed to plan something near him.

I would have been fine with a “hey, I’m pretty busy but I could do coffee for an hour at this shop down the road from me, see you at 2?” but he was quite rude about the entire thing and refused to offer alternatives after telling me he was free those times.

Shortly after, I arranged a date with a guy and took him on a hike I enjoy. He was clearly miserable the entire time, didn’t say a single word, whenever I tried to point out how pretty the fall leaves were or anything, he’d just mutter a “hm”.

Or even more I recently, I suggested meeting up to a guy and he responded that he wanted to keep texting to “get to know each other” and wouldn’t even do a phone call.

I actually *do* enjoy planning outings, but the majority of men mostly just want to text/sext indefinitely, and don’t seem to actually want to go do anything, they just want a quick and easy hookup.

If that’s all they’re looking for, that’s fine. I’m not trying to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to. But I’m also not going to waste my time and energy since we aren’t aligned on what we want. [/quote]
Oh why are you wasting your time on such men? They are either not interested in a relationship in general or don’t like you that much.

As a woman, when I became ready for a relationship, I decided that I want a man who takes initiative and is very much into me and is certain that he wants to be with me (and not five other women at the same time). On my profile, I specified what kind of man I’m looking for, including the “takes initiative” part, and actively monitored their enthusiasm. For example, if we matched at 3 pm and by 10 pm he didn’t say anything, I unmatched. Just didn’t want to waste my time on those who clearly don’t have time or energy for a relationship. Those who really liked me have made it very clear very quickly - and I didn’t need many, I needed only one, and I met him that way. [/quote]

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