Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I didn't want to change my mind. When we discussed it prior to marriage he said he would really like me to take his last name. He grew up with a single mom who had her maiden name and he and his brother each had the last name of their (different) father. [/quote]

[quote]Having a wife and kids with his last name felt like family unit to him.[/quote]

Your husband doesn't feel his mother raised him in a family unit, because she didn't ensure they all had the same surnames?

[/quote]

Obviously there was a lot more going on than different last names. Don't be obtuse. [/quote]

And same surnames would solve the family unit problems how?

Give us some examples of broken family unit problems that are resolvable by giving everyone the same last name. [/quote]

I didn't say it would. I'm not saying anyone should or shouldn't change their name. I simply shared my own experience. After talking about it I decided it meant way more to him than it did to me. So I changed my name. That worked for us. It doesn't mean everyone has to do it. [/quote]

Your husband is fundamentally insecure, that’s not anybody else’s problem.[/quote]

This is why people roll their eyes at liberal feminists. A guy has a preference to have his children carry his last name, as has been our cultural norm for centuries, and you label him as fundamentally insecure. Maybe he just likes carrying on the tradition or it means something significant to his family. His wife decided she was fine with it so why do you judge? Can't you respect other people's choices and move on?[/quote]

Women have had to sacrifice their identity and freedom for “tradition” and “cultural norms” for centuries.  That is ALWAYS the argument for having women being second class.  So yeah, I judge it.  I have that right.[/quote]

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