Reply to I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Keep the questions as clean as you can and I will do my best to answer all posted here. I won’t name the exact club or day I went, but the visit was in the last month.

I’m doing this because it was way less scary than I built it up in my mind. I am hoping to help others who are curious and nervous about making the first step/visit. [/quote]
How attractive were the people? Being propositioned by people I find unattractive and having to see them getting raunchy with each other would turn my stomach.[/quote]

If you read through the thread, I address attractiveness at several points.  If your stomach turns at the idea of someone that you don't find attractive enjoying their body or someone else's body, this is probably not the environment for you. I didn't see anyone that I found grossly unattractive, but had I, I would have just looked away. I don't know what your personal definition of attractiveness is because that is very personal, but please keep in mind that you might be someone's idea of unattractive. Body acceptance (yours and others) is key for enjoying a lifestyle club.[/quote]

DP. But realistically it sounds like all the women there were in fact performing femininity (all dressed up, taking the role of the traditionally “sexy” one) whereas the men just put on a nice pair of slacks. Although I find the “lifestyle” clubs intriguing I think I would feel very off-put at the reproduction of mainstream gender stuff. [/quote]

Most people in the lifestyle, like most people not in it, are into mainstream gender stuff. But I’m sure you can find subgroups in the lifestyle for gender non conforming people. (Not OP here, but I’m pretty sure I know where she went).[/quote]

I don’t even need “gender nonconforming” but I think it would be pretty irritating and not a turn-on if the event just reprised mainstream pr0n scenarios. It’s supposed to be “swinging” but just for the edification of the men or for women like OP who specifically enjoy that? [/quote]

DP. I always hate the vibe where women have to go all out to be sexy and men wear a clean shirt too. But I’m not quite sure what you are saying above. What other type of swingers club were you imagining?[/quote]

Women enjoy going all out to be sexy. They don’t “have” to do it.  I’m guessing that’s tje motivating factor for most of the women who go.  They enjoy being admired and listed after.  Honestly I would enjoy that aspect as well.  However the thought of having random sex with some anonymous dude is in no way appealing. [/quote]

Not all women enjoy this. And the few who are frankly exhibitionist like OP don’t represent the majority. And it is more the disparity and the seemingly rigid divide that OP describes that bugs me. I am a bi woman so of course I would enjoy looking at a beautiful woman scantily clad. But a club that is designed purely for men to gawk at women, no thanks. [/quote]

I must have done a disservice in my early descriptions. I didn't feel like the club was meat market at all. The men that were there were clean and well dressed. I never felt objectified or that I was a product that the club was selling. I felt in control, I had full agency, and I was completely safe the entire time. I am a feminist with a high powered career and no humiliation kinks- so I would have dipped out in a heartbeat if I didn't feel safe and respected. I didn't feel 'gawked at', I felt appreciated. [/quote]

Look, just because I am saying it was very heteronormative and therefore unappealing to me does not mean you cannot enjoy it! [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics