Reply to Breaking up with my toxic mom group (Ashley Tisdale essay)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just like when the pretty girl gets excluded by the other mean girls at the best lunch table in middle school, this group pulled the same on a former actress.   Women can be the worst to other women.
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I think they probably just didn’t like her. [/quote]

This is what I'm thinking. Especially if they were an already established closer group of women. It's hard to break into groups like that and you pretty much have to be universally liked/have multiple strong relationships with women in the larger group for it to happen. I've been in the same friend group of 10 women for about a decade now. We all have sub groups for different reasons (I'd say I'm in 4 subgroups) and we all have friendships/groups outside of the main group, but for many of us, this is the core local group. I have a shorthand with these women, they know me, my husband, my kids and we have a significant history with one another. It's not that I'm not interested in other friends, I'm fine creating new relationships, but I wouldn't initiate trying to fold another friend into this particular group. I can't say people are clamouring to join us, I think we're pretty chill and not overly obvious about our clique in most cases. I don't use social media and for the women in the group who do, they're very selective about posting. For me, as a general rule I don't talk about what I do and who I do it with with outside friends unless it's in some way pertinent, but I find it rarely is. Many of my non-group friends probably think I sit at home a lot and that's fine by me. [/quote]

If they didn't like her and didn't want to be friends with her, then they should not have done things like shown up to her daughter's birthday party or invited her to all the things in the first place. Sure, maybe they invite her to a few things but people don't click and it fizzles out. That happens and I'm sure wouldn't feel good to her, but at least it's honest and a natural process and then she goes and finds other friends.

What she describes is a group who were very friendly to her until suddenly they were not, and rather than discuss the issue with her like adults or at least own up to their change in feeling, decided to gaslight her by excluding her from things but then claiming later they just forgot to invite her.

Passive aggression is a terrible personality trait. Don't do this.[/quote]

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