Reply to I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

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Reply to "I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE AREA. No other options OP. [/quote]

I appreciate the bluntness. But where?

I'm genuinely asking. I do sometimes think I just am ill suited to the DC area because this annoys me so much and it feels like a very common personality type here. I can't just pick up and leave as I have a job and kids and a spouse. But I am open to thinking about it. Some people say there are people like this everywhere. Is that true? I am not from this area and did not encounter people like this prior to moving here for work.[/quote]

Basically anywhere with money will have this. It's the spoiled rich alpha female archetype. In working class areas these "forces of nature" are mama bears who are easier to deflect because they always have personal problems.[/quote]

But not everyone like this is rich. They just have leverage. Even in a wealthy community, you don't necessarily need wealth to be like this. I think of the way some of the rich ladies at my barre studio will clamor over certain instructors, and how some of those instructors use that popularity to get stuff they want out of those ladies. Maybe the instructor is very charismatic and good at her job, or maybe it's a hot guy who knows these women love getting attention and compliments from him.

All you need is leverage. Of course, that's if your goal is to manipulate and dominate people. Plenty of people don't think in these terms and might even have leverage they never use in this way. It's a certain personality type who is maybe high on the narcissism scale, low on the empathy scale, and enjoys the high they get in making people do what they want.[/quote]

[b]Someone can’t make you do what they want, when it’s BS like this and no gun involved.[/b]

Yall need to grow up.

And if you have some great idea and plan for a fundraiser or school thing or Pilates class, then speak up. [/quote]

Of course they can. That's what leverage is -- a way to get someone to do what you want.

People in positions of power/authority do it all the time. How do parents get their kids to clean their rooms? How does my boss get me to submit time reports? And so on. And sometimes people use social pressure, or the threat of negative social consequences, to get people to do things. That may or be more or less effective depending on who they are and what the consequences might be, but I bet you have done things you didn't want to do because of social pressure. Most people have.[/quote]

Is this a joke? I didn't submit time reports because my boss made me. I did it because I wanted to get paid. Then there came a time when I didn't want to fill out time reports anymore, so I quit and went to a job where we didn't have to fill them out to get paid. [/quote]

You just described leverage. You also didn't submit them because you just love filling out time reports. You did them because if you didn't there would be consequences. That's HOW your boss got you to do an annoying administrative task. No one likes doing it, but people always do.

Social manipulators are good at finding leverage like that. There was a recent thread where the OP was talking about a parent at her school who would bad mouth other moms if they did push their kids to play with hers. Something like that shouldn't work but sometimes it does because people are risk averse and just don't want to deal with something like that when it might impact their kids negatively. It's easier to just be extra nice to that one mom to avoid getting on her bad side. But it's similar to the reason you do your time reports -- it's annoying and you don't really want to, but it's just easier to do them then deal with the negative consequences if you don't.[/quote]

Hey dip$hits who don’t understand basic business models or “leverage.”

You submit time sheets so you bill clients correctly and have an accounting record of work and hours. [/quote]

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