Reply to DH walked out, I think- what do I do now?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oof, I remember this. The silent treatment, the manufacturing of conflicts out of thin air when I asked him what was wrong, the feeling that I annoyed him by even existing, the entitlement to check out or stomp out knowing I would provide continuity for whatever needed to happen….finish cooking, pay the restaurant check, entertain the guests.  It was horrible.

Yes he was sleeping around, but that was merely a symptom of deep, pathological selfishness, spiced up by a fun whiff of sociopathy. He was an empathy void. And boy did he hide that well before he locked me down.

You know those men who leave when the wife gets sick? Yeah. I wasn’t going to stick around and find out.

I’m sorry OP. I have been there and for me, it never got better. Maybe it will for you. But I’d take this event as the bellwether it is. With no discussion, and over a nonsense event (the plant thing? Really?), he bailed on you and your kids. Hell, he even endangered the dog by leaving the gate open.

[b]I’m leery of men whose protective instincts of those more vulnerable don’t remain intact in moments like this.[/b] They often make bad life partners. I would insist on counseling, no two ways about it.[/quote]

OP and that is what I needed to hear. Whatever is going on with DH and whatever emotions I dared to express ([b]apparently dcum agrees with him and thinks I need to squish myself down into the tiniest lump possible and not say a word about anything ever[/b]) don’t change the fact that he sought to make himself more emotionally comfortable at the expense of one of his own kids having to miss a baseball game or a birthday party and the dog potentially running into a busy street.[/quote]

Nobody said this OP. They responded to the fact that your DH got irritated and walked out of a room and your reaction, when he didn't come back into the room, was, in your own words: "after 10 minutes I started frantically walking through the house." No one wants to live with someone running around "frantic" because they walked out of a room. The fact that you don't understand that this is not the same thing as "not say a word about anything ever" reveals your profound immaturity. As does your ratcheting the situation up to where a child misses a birthday party or the dog is killed in the street, when your original post suggests nothing beyond a quiet afternoon at home.

He's probably close to done with your emotional immaturity. You better get a handle on your behavior or next time the car and phone will be gone as well. [/quote]

He left the house without notifying his spouse. That fact that is okay with anyone on this board shows this area is full of sociopaths. [/quote]

Let's walk through this - how do you think it would have gone if he had used his words and told OP that he needed to take a breather? Seriously, walk me through it.

Husband: I am really upset about this situation and I do not know how to talk to you about it right now. I need some space so that we can have a discussion and not a fight. Can I please take an hour and just go for a walk?
OP: Absolutely not! We have to go to Target because I decided that both of us needed to run that errands and you need to mow the lawn and and and and

See?[/quote]

Are you stupid, the conversation would not go this way. The conversation would be husband saying "I need to take a break. I am going to take a walk." and then leave. [/quote]

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