Reply to "The Dating Cultural Norm That's Making Everyone Unhappy"

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Reply to ""The Dating Cultural Norm That's Making Everyone Unhappy""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is all very evident in the dating market.

Attractive, successful men can sleep around and decide to commit or not whenever they want. The apps make it easy for a select few of us.[/quote]

Just don’t decide too long. As a mid 40s attractive woman, I’ve met too many of these elderly 60+ “players”. They are funny in their ego centric world trying to land a 15-20 years younger independently wealthy heiress who would travel with them while he’s throwing her his stick and some money, 
No thank you - I would rather travel on my own or be an equal partner to someone my age. [/quote]

I'm 47 now and just spent the weekend with a woman in her late 20s who complains about the men her age (but eventually does want to get married and have children with a husband closer to her age). This has been my life for the past seven years post divorce. As soon as it starts to slow down (I think I have another two years max), I think it will be just as easy to meet someone closer to my age.[/quote]

A late 20s woman should be dating for marriage mid 30s men, not "spending weekends" with divorced dudes 20+ years older. I was that beautiful 20s woman 20 years ago. The only girls who dated that much older were not attractive. Being younger doesn't make anyone more attactive

Also, what men like you don't understand is that by jumping brunches chasing bodies in superficial relationships you waste time and ability to build a deep connection. You actually regress into your own 20s mentality and become a shallow, unattractive partner for someone your age. The things I look at in my potential mate in my 40s are totally different from what I was into in my 20s. [b]Older women with experience are way more demanding[/b] and thus prefer to stay single over dating someone immature, like you.[/quote]

Ding, ding, ding – one of you finally gets this.

DP.  Now ask yourself whether “demanding” is an attractive trait to men in their 40s (or any other age).  You’re so close to understanding why you’re really single, sweetie![/quote]
The “sweetie” is just so unnecessary, PP.

I’m not the PP you were referring to- but I think you have this backwards. I know exactly why I’m single, it’s because yes! I’m lucky enough to be demanding. I have everything I need - I have a happy healthy life, financial security, great kids.. Why would I not be demanding in my standards for others? mine are not financial but require attractiveness, high energy, and lifestyle/hobby compatibility.

I think it’s snide to use “single” as a diss- after my disaster of an exH I think of single as a hard earned badge of honor, I earned my peace and can value it - by both respecting men and being very selective.

Woman, 49[/quote]

Even if you can "afford" to be demanding, it's still going to limit your pool and turn off many men.  You indicate you want a partner, but your approach makes it much less likely that you will succeed.  That's the crux of the situation described in this article: women have an unrealistic expectation of what they should expect in a partner.  If you have money and kids already, maybe in your case, you really will be happier with a vibrator and trips with friends than partnering with someone you view as subpar.  [b]But for the millions of women who would actually benefit from, and want, a relationship, the unwillingness to accept reality is a disaster.[/b][/quote]
This sounds like it was written by a sub-par man who wants beautiful successful women to settle for whatever garbage he has to offer. Why should women have to settle, just to have a partner? A man-child at home is NOT better than being single for a majority of women. [/quote]

Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. I will not be rushed into it because of age or because I might end up lonely. Any man or women knows that marrying someone incompatible leads to resentment which is a horrible place to be. Look at all of these people who end up with dead bedrooms , affairs, and abuse. Having no husband is better than having a bad one.[/quote]

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