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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While I think it’s important for betrayed spouses to know, i think that the intent of sharing that information matters. It should come of a place of concern for THEM, not from a place of needing to offload or share the pain of the person who knows.

I feel like this case is the latter, and I also don’t think that sharing the information is truly as freeing as OP thinks it was.[/quote]

I don't think it matters at all.

It can be a little bit of both.  They can want the spouse to know so they have their ducks in a row, can protect their children from any potential crazies, get their affairs in order knowing they are married to someone that is going to likely file for divorce w/out their being clued in for years, and protect themselves against STIs.  And, they can also be pissed and want this person out of their family, their lives.  It's kind of honorable to take one off the market--maybe just maybe that won't do it to another person after getting caught.  One can hope the revelation will cure them of their deficiencies and force some self introspection about how deceitful and morally corrupt they are.[/quote]

If OP is to be believed,[b] they intentionally did something without caring if they were hurting someone else just so they could feel better, not to help the other person[/b]. That someone was as innocent of blame as OP and yet OP punished them. OP didn’t call the AP and tell them off so the AP could mend their ways. They called the spouse so they could feel better about themselves.

It’s a human thing to feel and to want to do. But doing it is not noble.
[/quote]

That was the cheating, honey.  She wouldn't have had to make a phone call, if you treated your spouse with respect and honesty.  You don't get to have the moral high ground.  Telling the truth vs going behind people's backs, lying and committing adultery....hmmm?  Which one is wrong?[/quote]

Sorry, sweetheart. I am neither a cheater nor someone who’s been cheated on. If you want to damage a stranger just so you can feel good about yourself, go right ahead. But don’t pretend you had to do it or it’s to help that stranger. You show just as much self-restraint as the cheaters did. Just as much disregard for another person. More than one thing can be wrong at the same time. And two wrongs don’t make you right.

[/quote]

NP but the stranger (cheater) damaged *themselves*.  It’s shocking you can’t get this extremely simple concept through your thick skull.

I mean, if your kid was cheating on a test and another kid told, did that kid *damage* your kid?  (Answer: no.  Your kid did it to himself.)[/quote]

Oh ffs. The person the OP does not care about hurting is the AP’s spouse who never harmed OP. Do at least try to keep up. [/quote]

I agree. Also, it’s obvious that OP sees herself as an adult in the relationship with the cheater and wants another adult to punish their child-spouse. If a relationship is between two grown ups, they deal with it as equals. [/quote]

I'd bet $1 million putins that this is the deranged poster sock puppeting. [/quote]

Clearly!

She knows if her affair was found out herAP would throw her under the bus without a thought or care.

She’s lashing out at strangers on the Internet because her affair partner doesn’t give a **** about her.[/quote]

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