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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP. [b]My DS was the one who changed plans and dis-invited 2 kids.[/b] I think it was a timing issue and he had another group asking him to join. Those uninvited kids are just going to come anyway (they figured out their logistical issue and the parents just asked me for the meeting time). [/quote]

Gauche. At the very least, you should have explained to DS that this is the height of rudeness and poor manners. You don't leave friends behind because a "better" option presented itself. Tacky and low class. Do better.[/quote]

Last year, we invited a few kids to our neighborhood party. My son invited a handful of kids. One kid said he had plans with another kid and he was also included. It is very easy to join groups instead of disinviting.[/quote]

DP. My kids—MS and HS—are on the receiving end of the disinviting or last minute “sorry, can’t do it” type of thing frequently. It’s a total bummer as a parent who tries to stay out of their social business.

It seems like kids today are really rigid in how group plans come together. Like it has to be a very specific combo of people or the whole thing is off. In my day, we were much more likely to bring on stragglers, even if they weren’t our closest friends. It was no big deal. [/quote]

I have 3 kids. We host a lot. Over the years, I have complained about people not reciprocating. I guess by middle and high school still being the house as the hang out house has its benefits. They are usually always included by some group.[/quote]

I think part of the problem is that there’s “hosting” involved at all. The pre-parties and the group pic for social media—it’s turned a relatively simple, sweet holiday into yet another opportunity to reinforce your tribe.[/quote]

Because the parents had to get involved again and ruin it. Like youth sports.[/quote]

Actually it is the exact opposite in middle and high school. Parents are NOT involved. Kids make their own friend groups.[/quote]

Who is ordering and paying for all this food as part of the “hosting”? Parents are absolutely involved in this.[/quote]

My involvement: order pizza 
[/quote]

This never used to be a thing. You ate dinner at your house then met your friends on the street. But now, you involve yourself.[/quote]

I have no part other than ordering food _if_ they end up at our house.

People have gathered for dinner before trick or treating for as long as I can remember. Even back to the 80s. It might be new to you but it’s not new in general. 
[/quote]

Not everyone had this same experience. But as usual it’s parent driven which causes a lot of problems. [/quote]

We were raised lower middle class with parents who worked all the time so both my DH and I were stunned when we first encountered the social engineering etc. and he grew up with a huge immigrant family and mostly hung out with cousins so all the friend group stuff was pretty confusing to him. I had never encountered pre-parties for trick or treating, elaborate house decorations with smoke machines etc.[/quote]

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