Reply to Daughter married a doctor, he’s pressuring her to pay off his student debt

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Daughter married a doctor, he’s pressuring her to pay off his student debt"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course. When you marry a person, you marry their debts too. If she didn’t want to deal with his school debt, she shouldn’t have married him. They could’ve just cohabitated.[/quote]

Where do you draw the line for debt not only pre-marriage but before you even met?

You marry a deadbeat dad, you should pay off all of his back child support?

What if your husband put your engagement ring on an Amex, you’d be happy about paying off your own engagement ring?

Go to ritzy private colleges, rack up a mortgage worth of debt, then coerce a new spouse—who made more responsible college decisions—to pay off the loans feels wrong. I’m sorry.  [/quote]

These are not apples to apples comparisons.  Most likely the medical school debt will pay off in the future as higher earnings for the husband that will benefit them both.  Back child support (or consumer debt for jewelry) isn't the same kind of debt.[/quote]

Different poster, but my husband and I considered my engagement ring a major joint purchase similar to a car. The exact ring and when I received it was a surprise, but the budget was not. We agreed on the maximum amount and I contributed an amount proportional to my income to our joint account. I made 4x what he did at the time so I essentially bought my own ring. Some may say that’s not romantic, but it feels strange to me to enter into a lifelong commitment by one person making a unilateral financial decision. [/quote]

And it is!! This way you set a budget, you got what you wanted (some girls have very specific dreams of what they want/like and there is no reason you shouldn't get something you really love, considering it is for life).  Back when we got engaged, I still had 1 year of undergrad and 2 years of masters to do and my fiancé made 40K and had student loans to pay off.  So we agreed to spend $2000 all in for my engagement, and both wedding bands.  Seemed silly to spend much more given we had $80K in loans in total coming up.  15 years later, I got a $12K "replacement ring" and 5 years after that a diamond eternity ring to wear with the "engagement" ring.  We could easily afford the $16-18K at that point, but sure as hell no way when we got engaged.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics