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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Marriage is a horrible deal for women "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Women make more hours to make the same salaries as men. With same skill set. This is already proved to be true in the US and confirmed by multiple research. Thus, i[b]f she’s earning less plus also has to pull off all the household work she ends up doing 2 work shifts vs husband[/b] . Until men and women are absolutely equalized on corporate ladder there may be no equality in marriage. Not sure how it’s even hard to understand! [/quote] Precisely. The people who don't understand are SAHMs who have no idea how hard it is to work AND be the primary parent. They have a cushy existence compared to most WOHMs.[/quote] I’m a single dad who works and is the primary parent and the alleged difficulty of this is vastly exaggerated.[/quote] Because you probably suck as a dad compared to what single/working moms are doing. Sorry. Signed, SAHM with a cushy existence [/quote] I dated single dads with 2-3 kids who are actual, involved parents. They literally never have time for themselves or serious dating ! [/quote] Right. They were better dads than the PP who thinks that moms are vastly exaggerating how hard it is to work full-time and be the primary parent. [/quote] Or maybe he's just a harder worker and not as used to complaining. Or maybe he doesn't see parenting as a hassle. Or maybe he's more efficient at accomplishing what needs to be done at work and home. Or maybe he doesn't spend a lot of time shopping for leggings and watching Tik Tok dances while "working" at his cushy middle management fed job.[/quote] Hmm, no, I think it's that he isn't as good of a dad as women who report their experience with the well-documented phenomenon of the difficulties of being a primary parent while working full-time. [/quote] “Well documented” = women who complained a lot on DCUM lol.[/quote] Google is free, you know. https://fortune.com/2021/06/25/women-men-unpaid-child-care-pandemic-gender-equality-workforce/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/10/01/women-more-than-men-adjust-their-careers-for-family-life/ https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/women-do-extra-hour-a-day-of-chores-childcare-than-men-20221007-p5bnzv.html https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/menenjoyfivehoursmoreleisuretimeperweekthanwomen/2018-01-09 Seriously I don’t know what kind of mental gymnastics people are doing that leads them to believe that there is not an overall gender imbalance in domestic labor in dual-income households. [/quote] I love that you obviously Googled for the result you wanted but were too lazy to read the articles. This one you posted -- https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/women-do-extra-hour-a-day-of-chores-childcare-than-men-20221007-p5bnzv.html -- actually says that while women work more hours in the house, men work more outside of the house. This is the issue. Women don't see all the work that men are doing outside of the house and thus see the imbalance in the house as a sign that the division of labor is unfair overall, and assume that the reason that men make more money must be discrimination, rather than doing more work. The Pew study you linked also says that men spend more time in paid work, and the Pew research also says that married men with children work more hours overall than married women with children. And men on average make more money than women, so disproportionately contribute to family finances than women. Yet I love that the irrational conclusion you draw from these studies is that married women get the short end of the stick. [/quote] 1. Where does the pew research say that married men work more overall? I must have missed that. Regardless, look at the amount of measure time dads v moms have. Moms have less leisure time on average. 2. Just because moms work less outside the home doesn’t mean that they were fewer hours total. If a dad works 50 hours and does 5 hours at home and a mom works 40 hours and does 20 hours at home, the mom is working more hours overall. 3. Why is it okay that women are the ones who have to pull back in their careers? Why is that not done equally? And why does doing so result in career interruptions for women more than it does for men? And you can’t say that it’s because of biology because the biology of Americans isn’t different than that of other countries and their stats are different. 4. Do you think the reason women are opting out of marriage more and more is because they too are bad at looking at a marriage and seeing who benefits and who doesn’t? The solid majority of women initiate divorce, and it’s not because they are worse than men at gauging whether or not a marriage is equitable. It’s because they are fed up with crap. [/quote] 1. Here is the Pew study on work time, and married men with children spend more total time working than women: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/. Leisure time is not the same as free time in the Pew studies. Leisure time means time specifically devoted to certain leisure activities as defined by the study. 2. Yes, according to at least a couple of the articles you posted (and the Pew study I just posted), women do work less overall. 3. Why is it ok that the burden of financial support falls disproportionately on men? Why is that not done equally? Maybe women want to spend more time in taking care of the kids and the home than men do. Is that wrong? Does that mean it is unfair? 4. Men AND women are opting out more. Do you think men opting out more means that it is a bad deal for men? From what I can see around me, it is still far more common for women to push for marriage than men. Does that mean it is a better deal for women? Maybe women initiate divorce more because they benefit disproportionately from family law and family courts. Or maybe it is because men are more likely to sleep around. Or maybe it is because women are not as innately loyal. Or maybe it is because women are not as accustomed to accepting hard work. Or maybe it is because men check out of bad marriages whereas women just leave. Who knows? You certainly don't. [/quote] You referenced 2013 data which is for US overall not large metropolitan centers, and not for families where women make the same or more than man. Covid lockdown was a huge tax on women’s leisure time: in some studies women spent 10 times more on house work vs men while also working. Even in your article men in families with younger kids have more leisure time [/quote]
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