Reply to URMs Feeling Pressure to Prove Themselves

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I want to start with the fact that ! am 100% in support of URM advantage in admissions, even among families where the kid is second generation or from a very successful wealthy URM family.

But the bottom line is this....if there is a URM advantage given by a university  (just like, if there is a legacy advantage given by a university) - your kid was ABSOLUTELY given an advantage.  Even if they are very high stats, or even if they have THE HIGHEST stats, they were given an advantage over other applicants who also had those outstanding stats. LOTS of uber-achiever kids get shut out of the most competitive colleges.  That's just the way it is. There are SOOOO MANY students denied from the top schools that have the stats to support admission - there just isn't room for them all.  So even if you are an URM among that group of outstanding students - you were STILL given an advantage to be chosen.  That's ok. It doesn't downplay your achievement at all.  But it's simply a reality that you were given a chance to step out of that group.

In a situation like this, you need to just let what other people think slide off your back (and off your kids' back).  There's no use in proving anything and you don't need to prove anything to anybody anyway. Be yourself and have your kid be themselves. Just like anyone, they can be happy with their school and then make sure they the most of the opportunities it provides.

I know it's hard. And it sucks that people will always put an asterisk there - but there is an asterisk. Sadly, I'm sure there are many other things you have to let slide off your back too.  [/quote]

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