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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a mom, I have different standards for my DD and my DS for paying for dates. However the goal is same - they attract good people and they remain protected.

I want my DS to always pays or insists on paying for dates. He also has to listen to the girl and allow her what she wants (he pays or she pays).   The idea is that he is treating the girl right, earn her trust and respect, and give her the options.  The default is that he pays.

I want my DD to never allow guys to pay for her on dates, and only allow the guy she is going steady with or married to to pay.  In her case, it allows her to [b]not feel any obligation [/b]and not create any negative feelings in men if things don't work out.  This also allows her to keep dates inexpensive (because she is paying her share) and not over the top. The default is that she goes dutch.

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Raise your daughter to value herself such that there’s no suggestion of “obligation” if a well-raised young man picks up her coffee. You’re seriously raising her to consider her value $3.99??? [/quote]

You are wrong.  Not only my DD values herself, we as her parents value her and that is the reason she has always had our credit card, even when she was not earning.  She was never low on cash that she could not pay for herself.

My DD’s dates have not been raised by me. Unlike my DS who does not feel that a date owes him anything because he paid for the meal, the men that my DD  dates may have been  raised in a dysfunctional family with dysfunctional values.  How does my DD know that? She values herself immensely and would rather pay for her share and take her time in observing and judging the person. Most of the times, one date was enough for her to know that she did not have any sparks with the person.  It has worked well so far. Not been assaulted, disrespected or gossiped about till now in college or in work life.  And now she is dating a decent man and they do  take turns treating each other.  Her [b]BF always offer to pay (as he should)[/b] and my DD takes turn in getting the check (as she should).[/quote]

My sons have been raised by feminists.  Women are equal, and should be treated as equals.  Always paying for them is hardly treating someone as an equal.  [/quote]

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