Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

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Reply to "6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All of this drama because parents don't want their kids to be jerks and want them to actually be kids [/quote]

That has literally nothing to do with what the discussion was about.  It was about people acknowledging that the various maturity levels of middle school can affect who the girls want to be friends with, and recognizing that it’s ok if some girls mature more quickly than others.  Starting to act older, be more interested in boys, moving away from pretend play - all of this is completely normal.  And this discussion is also about understanding that there is only so much the parents can do in a situation like this beyond reminding their daughters to be kind.

You can’t force a friendship that has evolved as the girls grow up.[/quote]

+1 And “maturing more quickly” is not all about TikTok and crop tops. [b]Many girls get their first periods at 11/12 [/b]and it changes their moods and energy levels, which can affect their relationships and what kind of people they want to spend time with. There are hormonal (and perhaps pheremonal) things going on that we can only do so much about. [/quote]

I was one of them(11). Stop using that excuse for your little bully(or your younger self).[/quote]

Neither my kid, nor I, is or was a bully. My daughter was very much cut out from a group in 6th grade. She weathered it ok and is a good place now where she will not go chasing after friendships that make her feel less than. To ignore the role that hormones play in these dynamics is just foolish, though. Not that it excuses or even explains all of the behavior, but c’mon, to pretend that it’s not a factor is not helping anyone.[/quote]

Did someone say that it [i]isn't[/i] a factor? Confused... 
[/quote]

If you dismissively writes hormones in quotes, as at least one poster in this thread has, or if you tell someone who simply brings up menarche to stop making excuses for their little bully, then it seems some are not taking it seriously as a factor.[/quote]

I put "hormones" in quotes - not because I don't think they exist but because they are not an excuse for a-hole behavior. Cutting one friend from a long-established group, and getting the rest of the group together in plain sight of the excluded person (as described in the OP) is 100% a-hole behavior. [/quote]

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