Reply to Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is us. We have prosocial, communitarian values. (Well, DH drives a $60k car. I drive a $30k car. Cars aren't really my thing. But we do have a nice primary residence and vacation home.)

My kids' schools are Title 1 and majority Black (we're white). There's a lot of misinformation bouncing around the neighborhood that I think is based on subconscious fear and bias. I went to a super competitive, highly ranked suburban high school. I taught in a well regarded suburban school district. I know a thing or two about schools and I can tell you that my kids are getting great educations, just in old buildings with janky furniture and not that many field trips. The schools didn't get laptops until the pandemic forced the district's hand. But the teachers are great, which is the most important thing. We don't have the same issues with fights, bullying, or drugs that you hear about from other schools. My kids are happy and engaged.

I definitely know people whose kids would do better in a private school setting, so I do think it's a case by case thing. But in general, when people put their kids in private and they've never even stepped foot in their neighborhood schools, I pity them for spending money they didn't have to spend just to make their kids less well-rounded and open-minded. Just last night my 7th grader was telling me about her friends at the small, all girls middle school and how they all dislike how insular and strict it is, and that she's glad she goes to a big public school.

Our biology has us wired to give our kids the greatest chance at surviving and thriving in life. It's normal to be driven by that. The key is discerning what really gives our kids a chance at a successful life. Is attending the highest ranked/most exclusive school the way to do that? What do those rankings really reflect? What is the likely difference in outcome if we spend our "private school money" on experiences instead, or we gift it to our kids as a nest egg for their adulthood?

My friend was asked as a public school PTA parent to speak to a group of kids from the most exclusive private school around here. The school wants their students to understand the challenges facing underfunded public schools. Yeah, because going to the most expensive and exclusive private school around doesn't teach you that. So . . . the public school is like an exhibit to be viewed? It's just very cringe-worthy, but it's also a real conundrum . . . how do you teach empathy and introduce the real world to children and teens being purposefully kept away from the real world? [/quote]

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