Reply to DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These are discussions and decisions made prior to marriage.[/quote]

So your advice to OP is "invent time travel"?[/quote]

OP - I am cracking up here. I think this advice is pretty ridiculous because you can't predict where 2 careers will take you. We got together before we had careers or knew what they would be (were in college), talked a lot about what life might look like, but we can't tell the future. We've moved around a lot, had different jobs/career moves, no way I could have known at age 19 what professional paths he and I might follow.

If you say, "Well, that's why you shouldn't marry young," I guess so. But, contrary to many assumptions in this thread, we love each other and it's been a pretty good decade and a half so far.

After dutifully reading 20 pages of this thread, I think the sad reality is that there are no good guys or bad guys here. Just two people who both want to pursue careers that don't pay well (though his pays better than mine for sure) while also being the secondary parent. It doesn't work. Someone has to either earn a lot of money or stay at home with the kids. Or we have to sacrifice on where we live, travel, eating out, etc to funnel that money to childcare.

I don't think it makes either of us "the bad guy" if we prefer that the other person makes the sacrifices. I think it just makes us human. [/quote]

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