Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother and her aunt were sexually abused by a family member when they were young.  When they started seeking therapy as adults and chose to name their abuser, I was shocked by how many people in the family were FURIOUS with them for airing dirty laundry, not thinking about how it would impact others, not just getting over it, etc.

Abusers and dysfunctional people are fine with continuing the cycle of shame, secret keeping, denial, and gaslighting.  It’s what they know, it’s what they are comfortable with.  People who were raised this way will continue is the cycle.

[b]The kids can’t be protected from something that already occurred.[/b]  The cheating already took place.  Their lives have been massively altered.  The damage already happened.  Stop blaming the victim for putting a name to the event that caused the damage.  [/quote]
Lunacy. No wonder there are so many messed up adults. The mentality of treating children like adults and putting adult burdens on them is absolutely insane. These kids stand no chance to grow up and be healthy adults with your beliefs.[/quote]

I suspect you would also be angry at family members who go public about being a victim of child abuse by family members, so I’m glad not to agree with you on this. [/quote]

Because child abuse and cheating are the same thing.  :roll: [/quote]

Actually they are very similar. Many people cheat with people younger than them and the age difference between a 16 year old and 18 year old isn't that great. Overseas people can marry at age 12 and have sex by age 13 or 14.[/quote]
How about this compromise: Tell you child in the presence of a licensed therapist so that they can guide you and preventing you from emotionally dumping on the child. When you go from "many people cheat with people younger than them" to "the age difference between a 16 year old and 18 year old isn't that great" to what happens overseas, I can see how you would jump from one story to another creating unnecessary chaos in the mind of your child.[/quote]
That PP is clearly suffering from a mental health crisis. They cannot stick with the discussion and keep wanting to introduce inflammatory situations that are completely irrelevant. They said they were done with the thread last night, but clearly they can’t stop. It’s best not to engage them at this point. [/quote]

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