Reply to Those in your 40s and 50s, if you had kids later in life, do you regret it?

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Reply to "Those in your 40s and 50s, if you had kids later in life, do you regret it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here we go with this same tired old topic again.

Look, the bottom line is simple:  it's better to have kids young.  Biology prefers it for a reason.

Of course older mothers are going to disagree, because they have to validate their choices or circumstances.  All of this baloney about the benefits of having kids older -- being financially secure, having fun in your youth, etc. -- benefit the [i]parents[/i], not the kids.  If, for example, you're a struggling grad student, having a kid doesn't hurt the kid because your future earnings potential is presumably high.

That's what we did.  We got married in our early 20s, got our kids out of the way while going to grad school, and had all four before we were 30.  Now our kids are full grown, and the parents of their kids' friends are closer to our age than theirs.  And our kids didn't suffer economically, academically, or socially because we didn't wait until the timing was "perfect" by DCUM's definition.  To the contrary, they thrived.  [/quote]

All these mamas lucky enough to find someone to marry in their 20s. Do you REALLY think most of us WANTED to meet our husbands so late and have kids so late? Would you rather we not have kids at all? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM BIZNOTCH?[/quote]

See, I applaud your honesty.  The issue I have is with the older mothers who insist that it's the better course of action when it usually isn't.  [/quote]

DP, but there are many benefits to having kids when you're older than younger, mostly because adults are more stable (emotionally, financially, etc.).  That's hard to get around.  I know there are some benefits to having kids younger, but that's mostly around the ease of conceiving and remaining pregnant.  That has little to do with the actual work of parenting.[/quote]

LOL depends on how you define "the actual work of parenting."  If you mean having kids in your 40s, then hiring nannies and being in a better position to pay them, then sure.  But if you're talking about the [i]actual[/i] work of parenting, well, sorry -- being younger and more spry is the order of the day.[/quote]

The actual work of parenting in this day and age is helping kids develop emotionally and developing good executive functioning and people skills.  Knowledge work, and all that.  And providing them with $$ for college and a down payment.  That type of parenting is definitely easier to do if you are older.  [/quote]

No parent in their 20s is paying for college or down payments yet.  But professionals who have kids young more often than not will still be in a position to do these things when the kids are of age.  It's not an either/or proposition.  Easier?  Maybe somewhat.  But at what cost?

Also, the idea that providing a down payment is an integral part of "actual parenting" is ridiculous.  Ask the many, many well parented adults out there without parents providing down payments if that's their definition of "actual parenting."[/quote]

Lol who are these parents providing down payments? So if you have three kids are you providing down payments for each of them? [/quote]

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