Reply to I'm so tired of mom cliques

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.[/quote]

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.[/quote]

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.[/quote]

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?[/quote]

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view.  No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party.  Seriously, this is bananas [/quote]

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.[/quote]

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?[/quote]

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.[/quote]

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?[/quote]

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.[/quote]

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.[/quote]

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?[/quote]

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall. [/quote]

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.[/quote]

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.[/quote]

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.[/quote]

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?[/quote]

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?[/quote]

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.[/quote]

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.[/quote]

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?[/quote]

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.[/quote]

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?[/quote]

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.[/quote]

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.[/quote]

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.[/quote]

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