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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you are offended (or making the choice to feel insulted) by a SAHM who says quite honestly[b] "I stayed at home to raise my kids" [/b]then YOU are creating the controversy where there is none!

I totally agree with the WOHMs who advise SAHMs not to talk on and on about their kids in an interview.  Fair point.  But, to assume a judgment or insult from someone who is talking about HER own choices... well, that's just making it all about you when it's not about you.

I have been asked several times in different interviews "how old are your kids."  They know I have kids b/c of the gap and my explanation of what I was doing.  The interviewers are the ones trying to bring in more info. about the kids.... and then they are subtly calculating if the kids still young and going to cause a problem for the employer.

If a person says she decided to stay home and take care of her kids it is NOT the same thing as judging all WOHMs for not taking care of their kids.  It's not about the the WOHM!

Lastly, you would think that a person who WOH, would be thrilled to see the arch-enemy (SAHM) trying to follow in the WOHM's footsteps!  Here is a person from the "opposing" team trying to join your team, and all you can do is insult the person who wants to join your team????  You insult the SAHMs for staying at home, but when they try to be WOHMs you want to kick them back into their corner (which you sarcastically deride).

Seriously.  Think about your logic if you are one of the WOHMs who is slamming on the SAHMs trying to get jobs.  And try to let go of the perceived attacks, b/c I've never heard SAHMs insulting WOHMs in real life.  Ever.[/quote]

No, you, the SAHM are creating the drama by introducing something completely irrelevant to the interview for the job along with a judgmental statement.  How is the fact that you "stayed at home to raise your kids" at all relevant to your job?  If you must, you can say that you left the work force to take care of family matters.  In jobs that I've interviewed for, I can't always afford someone who doesn't realize that there are certain topics that are landmines that should not be stepped on.  If that's your idea of a neutral statement that is MY problem and not yours, then you are probably not a fit for my job.  I hire people who work on-site at a client's site and always have to be aware of what they are saying because they represent my company at the client's site.  Wrong or inappropriate statements, regardless of the intention can cost us by having us audited, having our semiannual review to be rated lower and possibly cost us some of a review period bonus.  I need people more perceptive than that to work at the clients' sites.   Now, granted my type of situation may be the minority, but in this job market, do you want to rule out certain jobs, even a small minority because you have to make a statement about your family in a work setting?  I think that SAHM's are well advised to not mention their families until they are used to a work environment, know what the attitude is towards family discussions and know where and when is appropriate to discuss family, otherwise they'll find that their options may be even more limited than they start out.

Don't mention family until the interviewer gives you an appropriate opening.  If asked why you were out of the workforce, that is usually a lead-in to "what have you done in the last X years to maintain your skills?"  Not "what did you do in the last X years that has nothing to do with this job?"  I personally would answer "What have you done in the last 10 years?" with "Well, I've taken a night school course in blah, blah, blah, and am a regular participant in the Acme Companies Forum on X technology to keep abreast of X developments."  If you must, say "While I was out taking care of family matters, I took a night school course and blah, blah, blah."[/quote]

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