Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
She makes 250k. He makes less. She does not want to feel like she is carrying the load of the family when he can’t step up. [/quote]

A GS-14 carries a fair amount of responsibility, it is not a do-nothing job. He may be more stressed than you imagine, just doesn't talk about it at home. You both need to communicate better.

Government salaries are determined by a schedule, there is not much an employee can do except seek promotion to a higher level, or quit the government and look for something in the private sector. Quitting after many years of service means walking away from pension and health care benefits that are usually higher than a private sector job will offer.

There is one primal difference between men and women, in that women have higher housekeeping standards then men because they can see dirt that is invisible to men. If you want him to help more around the house, you might need to (politely) help him see the invisible dirt.

[/quote]

While true that GS-14s can have real responsibility and work stress, it is certainly not often always the case, or even usually the case. Plenty are able to coast. It is also way different than the stresses of building a career in the private sector. OP is right to be stressed about not only the immediate concerns, but looking 5 or 10 years down the line to make sure she stays relevant (and thus employed). Feds just don't have that pressure, and that is a big source of stress for a lot of professionals.[/quote]

Then maybe OP should get a job as a Fed.[/quote]

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