Reply to Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hell yeh, your popping in on the video chats probably helped. And letting him know that you monitor messages, that also helped.  Without being confrontational you sent a clear signal that you were watching.  He had other girls to pursue who didn’t have parents watching as closely.  [/quote]

Yeah it just makes me so sad. I'm not trying to be a smug parent, or blame any of the victims, but I'm sure it helped that I inserted myself in their conversations. Honestly, at the end of the day, it would have been my kid (not me) who would have encountered any inappropriate behavior and had to shut it down. So I guess my message to you all is: Talk to your girls (and boys), and let them know very clearly what is inappropriate teacher behavior. This includes:
- One on one texting
- Email to/from personal account
- Rides in car
- Physical contact
- Going out (anywhere) alone
- Visit to their home

I'm sure all of these violate MCPS policy already, and it seems highly unlikely that the school district would even be aware if they occur.

[My kid has played sports for 10+ years and the occasional text to a coach is normal, but only for things like "which field are you on?" or "I'm running late to the game". Otherwise, it's group texts all the way, or comms through the team captains.]

[/quote]
You should give yourself a lot of credit. In all seriousness, it's so heartening to know that your daughter was spared further targeting because of your actions. I agree that it's because of those things you did.

I'm sure it's hard to accept that a teacher who gave positive, effective guidance to your daughter was actually a serial abuser. But you don't owe him any loyalty. You see, that was part of his plan, to get your support so that you could reinforce his positive image to the community. His gift of helpful advice to your daughter actually came with strings attached...strings you couldn't see, didn't realize existed (e.g. thinking him a good guy). I don't think we need to change our culture/rules such that we have to prevent teachers from helping kids like your DD in the future. I think they could put some more policies in place to make sure the # of such private meetings by a single teacher are held in check somehow.

Your sharing your story is so helpful in a couple of ways: you gave really concrete ways that your actions made a difference to protect your daughter, when she was actually being targeted even in a very, very subtle way. Other parents should read through and follow those examples themselves.

Second, it's interesting to hear that your mom radar went off very early on. So the other lesson for the rest of us on here is to remind ourselves: [i]trust your gut, even (especially?) early on.[/i][u]

One burning question: when you asked other friends about it early, what did they say? To what degree did they have knowledge of the things that would have caused your red flags to go up, and did they have the same concerns as well? I am wondering how much parents do help, or COULD help, other parents to sense a predator;  clearly Shipley was able to persist even if at least one parent was asking around. I'm not sure how to articulate myself clearly on this, but it's making me think about what my role might be as a parent if I got wind of something indirectly, say.[/quote]

Agree with this.

I am the parent of two younger (MS) kids who play sports and am finding this thread eye-opening and very helpful.  Thank you to all.  [/quote]

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