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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) I generally think stepparents that rank kids are bad news bears and they are foundationally harmful to the children. Especially when there is a large imbalance between different sets of children. This may or may not be fair or reasonable, but a parent that doesn't consider this when choosing to remarry is neglectful

2) Your primary issue seems to be your DD alienating DH and his children. [b]But why should she care about alienating people who clearly do not care for her? [/b]The ramifications of this are extreme and long lasting. She will be in debt for decades as a direct result of your marriage. It will strangle her ability to build wealth. And this isn't your 30k causing this, its the actual piece of paper saying you are married to your DH. Everyone in this situation probably understands this. So [b]expecting your daughter to love and care about people who clearly do not love and care about her seems very gaslighty[/b]

3) Your marriage has actually COST your daughter money. She would be better off if you had not married even if it meant you had been unable to save the 30k

4) It is clear you should divorce your husband on paper for five years to at least ensure she has the benefit of applying for FAFSA under her true financial situation. If you don't do this, her anger will forever be justified

TLDR: Your DH isn't obligated to pay, but he should be helping to solve the problem, by either making an 'on paper' divorce an easy option or by making up the difference she would be receiving in FAFSA. If her 'sisters' cared about her they would be having the convo you are too scared to with your DH. [b]If you cared about her more than your marriage, you would be approaching this like a problem solving team and not treating her like a Cinderella to sweep under the rug.[/b] [/quote]

I'm not even saying OP should divorce her husband, but she AND her husband ought to be thinking about whether and how they can help her daughter.  That might not mean four years of full tuition, but it ought to mean that they talk seriously about what the possibilities are, and do what they can.  [/quote]

the. biggest problem is that OP doesn’t see where the problem is. she thinks the problem is her daughter’s attitude and not the circumstances she put her in for her (mother’s) sole benefit.[/quote]

x1000  OP has so many options. The first one, to help open up aid channels would be for her to file singly instead of jointly for taxes.  But OP seems unwilling to do anything to rock the boat with her husband and really seems intent on making the daughter out to be the problem.  I feel very sorry for the girl.  Her mom has a primary responsibility to her, the daughter, first and the husband second.  Unfortunately OP doesn't seem to understand that.  [/quote]

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